What Pigs Can Teach Us

OK, I know the title sounds a bit silly, and this post might seem a bit tongue-in-cheek, but there is some merit to it. So stay with me. I'm going to tell you about my adventure in pig ownership.

Back in October, we were at Flea Land- the local flea market. This place is cool. You can buy just about everything: clothes, cast iron cookware, pictures, car parts, guns, jams and jellies, depression era glass, dogs, cats, and even livestock.

Something possessed me that day. My dear hubby will dispute if I was even in my right mind. But as we were leaving, I saw some kids with piglets. Oh, they were sssssssooooooo cute! (The pigs, not the kids) Did I know a darn thing about pigs? Nope! But I wanted one. Mind you, I'm not an impulse buyer. I tend to research, weigh various products, and then make as sound of a decision as I can based on the facts. Not that day. I saw this cute little piggy and had to have him.

Against much protesting from my hubby, I whipped out $30 and bought my little Vietnamese Potbelly piglet. He was so small I could slide him into the big front pocket of a hoodie. We still had some shopping in town to do, so I had to be creative with the little guy. I hadn't thought of a name for him, and when we went to Tractor Supply, I brought him in. One of the girls there fell in love with him, so I asked her what should I call him? She gave him some cuddles and fussed over him, then pronounced him Sherman. I was cool with that name. So Sherman came home.

The first few weeks, he slept a lot. His home is the guest bathroom. He has a cozy cat bed, litter box, and plenty of space to run around. Life is good for the little porker. I soon realized having a piglet was like having a child. Pigs are very intelligent- far too smart for their less-than-attractive bodies. Sherman soon figured out how to push my buttons. If he wanted something and I could not immediately give it to him, he broke into a raucous outpouring of evil sounds. Hence he was christened the Demon Pig. And if he was bored, he started destroying things. Not cool. My vanity in that bathroom has some serious chew marks.

I bought a pig book off Amazon and read it immediately on arrival. I didn't realize what I'd gotten myself into. Yes, pigs are a lot of work. Sherman has his redeeming qualities- he's got a good sense of humor and a work ethic that would impress most bosses. I had to teach him tricks! I needed to get that 3rd grade mind of his engaged in something to keep him happy. And so far, that has worked, he hasn't destroyed anything lately.

Wellie, my Pitbull mix, was a good playmate. As Sherman has grown up, they aren't such good friends anymore, but in the beginning, they were a great source of amusement. There were times I got very little writing done in favor of watching them play. Now Sherman is over 40 pounds and thinks he's the king of the house. The dogs aren't taking kindly to that. We have occasional scuffles when he pushes his limits with the dogs. And he can be darned pig-headed when he doesn't want to do something.

So what can this pleasantly plump porker teach us? Well, he can teach you about determination. If he wants something, he won't give up until he either has it, or has exhausted himself trying. He uses his brain all the time, and it amazes me how he learns so fast. I can teach him a new trick every 3-4 days, and he remembers every trick I've taught him. Most of us humans don't have memory recall like that! Despite pigs having poor eyesight, this guy won't miss a morsel of dropped food. And just like a human child, he needs love, belly scratches, and playtime. 

There have been a few times I've regretted my impulse buy of a pig, but for the most part, he's brought me joy, and a definite sense of responsibility for an animal so intelligent. I look forward to teaching him more tricks. So far, he knows nearly a dozen individual tricks- more than all our dogs combined. 

Here are some things to consider before bringing home a pig:

1. Potbellies can get from 90-200 pounds. If you don't want the furniture in your house rearranged, don't get a pig.

2. Their little snouts are cold, wet, and extremely tough. They can tear up a lawn in no time. And don't think carpet is immune to their attentions!

3. Pigs are 4-legged porcine poop-producing, methane making machines. If you can't stand poop or farts, don't get a pig.

4. Pigs need outdoor time- make sure they have a safe place to play. Preferably not on the good lawn!

5. Pigs can live up to 18+ years. They are part of the family.

6. Pigs eat a lot! And as they grow, they shed their skin and are constantly itchy. My coffee table in the living room will never be the same.

7. Don't expect them to be perfectly potty trained- they are livestock. Pigs are inherently neat animals, but accidents happen.

8. Pigs crave attention. Make sure you have enough time in your day for them.

Well, that's about all, my creatively obsessed friends. Next blog I hope to have a guest- a really cool one!

Cheers,

Kathy

P.S.- you can see Sherman's antics on my YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/sturgeon3736

I'm cheating today

OK, I wrote this for another blog site, but it's good info, so I'm going to post the link. Indies Unlimited is a great place for authors to find information about the writing and publishing world. I feel honored to have been asked to be a contributing member of staff. No, don't get paid, but I do get to hang out with some pretty awesome folks.

So please, without further adieu, here's my post for IU:

http://www.indiesunlimited.com/2013/01/02/my-kdp-debacle/

Until next time, my creatively obsessed friends,

Kathy

The Next Big Thing Blog

Holy cow, I almost blew it! Oh, maybe I did. Well, better to be late than never. My good buddy, Blaze McRob talked me into doing this Next Big Thing blog post. It's supposed to be part of a series from various authors in various genres. What the heck, I said, I'll give it a try. You are given a set of 10 questions about a recently released book or a current work in progress. I decided on The Hall, since it was my newest release, and I'm kind of in between things right now.

So, without further adieu, here are the 10 questions and my answers below. 

1) What is the working title of your next book? (or it can be your latest release):

My most recent book release was “The Hall,” about a wealthy Memphis book publisher buys an old castle-like mansion and ends up doing battle with a love-struck ghost he doesn’t believe exists.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

I lived in Memphis for a little while and used to pass Ashlar Hall on the way to work. I always thought it would make a great setting for a horror novel.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

Supernatural thriller/horror

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Oh God, you had to ask that one! I guess for the lead of Marcus Bishop, my heart would lean toward Karl Urban. Despite being a Kiwi, he’s got just the right look and personality for the part. And after seeing him in RED and Star Trek, I know he can lose the accent. Not to mention he looks dashing in a suit!

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0881631/

As for Prince Mongo, he can play himself- no one could do it any better! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MLSznhbuBw

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A man’s home is his castle, or could it be his crypt?

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

100% self-published. I only employed my editor and an artist to do some work for me.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

About 6 months.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I'm not exactly sure. It really is a very different kind of book, and I’m proud of that.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Ashlar Hall which is located at the juncture of Lamar and Central Avenues in Memphis. The old building is built like a castle. It even has gargoyles jutting from the roof.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader's interest?

It is unique in that there are several threads in the story, and I also have Prince Mongo, who is a very REAL person involved. I asked permission to use him as a character, and he gladly agreed. Each chapter I wrote, I sent to him for approval. He was extremely pleased with the finished product and how his character came across. The Prince is a fantastic person all on his own, and it has been a real pleasure to work with him. 

Right, I've said my peace, and I hoped you enjoyed the glimpse into my contorted little mind.

Until next time, my creatively obsessed friends,

Kathy

 The North Porch

 Inspiration for Khyripzhus

 Prince Mongo, the one and only!

You can find The Hall at the following links:

Ebook: 

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/241686    

(Smashwords supports ALL ereader platforms!)

Print: 
https://www.createspace.com/3540203 

How "Breaking Bad" made me a better writer

This post originally appeared on Indies Unlimited website.

 

As I’ve said before, I live in the middle of nowhere. We don’t even have cable TV. In order to get any TV, you need satellite. Well, our phone company about a year or so ago promised us we would have cable this year (2012). Umm, yeah, didn’t happen. So, since we have lovely DSL internet, we decided to do Netflix.

I normally don’t like shows like Breaking Bad, it’s not my normal viewing fare. My hubby got me into watching it—we watch 1 episode every morning as we eat breakfast. At first I didn’t like it, it was drama, drug-related, and in general, rather crude. But something happened after the first few episodes: I found myself looking forward to the next episode. Why? Suspense.

Each episode starts with a short trailer before the credits. You get a glimpse of things to come. My writer’s mind immediately clicked into this teaser. I wanted to solve the mystery of the trailer. And you know what? Those wonderfully sneaky writers usually threw me for a loop. I became intrigued. I wanted to watch more. Breaking Bad became my writer’s meth. I was addicted. I had to find out what happened to Walt and Jesse.

How did this make me a better writer? I began to understand how they manipulated time and scenes to increase the level of tension. Most episodes ended with a “cliff hanger,” making you tune in to see what happens. There are so many “that was close” moments, and “wow, those guys are idiots, and somehow they lucked out.” You can’t help but get tangled up in the story. Even the little things like Walt being related to a DEA agent (by marriage) adds to the tension of the story. Will Hank catch him? Can Walt pull this off?

My current WIP is a contemporary romance. It centers around a horse racing dynasty in the Lexington, KY area. As I re-read my initial draft, I realized there wasn’t enough drama. Not enough “OMG” situations that readers would get sucked into. There had to be more to the story. Despite it being a romance, there needed to be a serious ramping up of the events in the book. Horse racing is a dangerous business; I needed to make that more of a part of the story. The characters needed to better understand the consequences of their choices.

We’ve just finished season 2 of Breaking Bad, and I finally got to see how the charred pink teddy bear ended up in Walt’s pool. Oh, that was driving me crazy! And how it got there was a total shock—nope, didn’t see that coming. The writers have skillfully woven the characters together and events that change their lives.

I don’t consider myself a TV junkie, but this show has taught me some of the finer points of building tension, creating chaos, and bringing characters to the brink and back all while comfortably seated on my sofa. Now I need to apply what I’ve learned and fix up this romance so it will be like riding a wild race horse down the home stretch in a huge stakes race. I want you to wince, squirm, and cheer for the characters. And of course, I want a happy ending!

Until next time my creatively obsessed friends,

Kathy

 

Autograph your Kindle? Sure!

An author friend of mine, Jack London—no, not the dead guy— Jack Woodville London came up with a unique idea: if you can show him that you have his books your Kindle, he’ll autograph a cute little cotton bag silkscreened with his books on it. Adorable, and just the right size for a Kindle or smaller tablet. But I asked him what he did when someone in another part of the country or world wanted his autograph. His reply: “Come see me!”

Not all of us can afford to hop a private jet somewhere to do a signing. So for those of us who can’t just be everywhere at once, here’s a neat idea: Kindlegraph. It’s a FREE service offered that allows readers to connect with their favorite authors and get an “autograph” for their Kindle books. How does this work?

1.       Go to http://www.kindlegraph.com/ and get an account. If you have Twitter, it’s dirt easy. Once you do that, go in and list all your books (must be on Amazon.com and have an AISN) There’s a link at the bottom of the page for:  “Authors sign up here.”

2.       Once your page is done, you can broadcast the link to the world through social media and the what-not.

3.       Once a reader finds you and wants a Kindlegraph, all they have to do is click on the “Request Kindlegraph” button. Oh, By the way, the book icons are also buy links directly to Amazon. How nice is that?

4.       They will fill out the required information on the shaded form below.

5.       An email will be generated to you for the request.

6.       There is a link in the email that takes you to your login page and then right to your “Dashboard” of pending requests.

7.       Just click on the Kindlegraph It! Button and away you go. The next screen you see will be like this:

8.       You can select “Handwriting” or “Typewriter” for your font.

9.       Then you get a blank area to do the inscription. Type away!

10.   Once done, just hit the “Send Kindlegraph” button at the bottom, and you’re done! An email will be sent to the reader informing them that they have a PDF sent to their Kindle.

11.   The only possible tiny downside: Amazon can charge a small “delivery” fee for sending the Kindlegraph. If it is along their normal delivery fees, it’s maybe less than 10 cents. When asking my #1 fan (who willingly agreed to help me on this article) if Amazon charged him for the Kindlegraph, he said they didn’t. So in most cases, it’s FREE to authors and readers!

So there you have it. Now you can autograph a Kindle anywhere in the world. Cool huh?

Lessons Learned About Screen Writing

OK, I blame my best friend, Jessica, for getting me hooked on the notion that I could write a screenplay. We were kids—high-schoolers, and we liked to write. Fast forward over 20 years and here I am, still writing. Although I changed my goals from screenplays to novels and short stories, but the thought of seeing something I wrote on the big screen still hung in the back of my mind. So I decided to adapt a novel I'd published and give it a try.

First of all, if you have any aspirations of playing in Hollywood, you have to go by THEIR rules. They are picky—very picky. I did some research and found that the software most commonly used was Final Draft (version 8 right now). I ponied up the $$ and bought it, $250 of download—ouch! Then I played around with it until I felt reasonably comfortable using it.

Second, you need books—several books on screen writing. The two best are: Screenplay by Syd Field, and The Screenwriter's Bible by David Trottier. I also picked up Making a Good Script Great by Linda Seger, and How to Adapt Anything Into a Screenplay by Richard Krevolin. You MUST be armed and ready to do battle. Hollywood is unforgiving.

Once armed, it was off and running to write the script. Yeah, that’s not so simple. As I learned more about adapting novels to screenplays, I realized I may have created a monster. My novel was only 148 pages printed (8.5 x 11, 1.5 line spacing) but to now have to take all those words—over 81K, and turn them into a 120 page screenplay that must be mostly white on the page; that was a challenge.

I like challenges, so after nearly a year, I had my 120 pages—actually 119—I was very pleased with myself. I was ready to send it to Hollywood—or was I? Now the lessons really began. I submitted it to a screenplay contest and didn't even make it to the quarterfinals. I submitted to another, same thing. And two more competitions later, I wasn't getting anywhere. Why? I had a darn good story, the length, format, plot arc, characters, and pretty much everything I could think of was by the book. So what was I doing wrong?

At one of the competitions, they offered 100% feedback on every script they got. The cost of the competition was reasonable, so I entered. I got feedback, all right. Some of it was good, some of it was bad. I didn't let that stop me. I now realized I had some problems to correct. Unfortunately it had cost me well over $150 to find this out. It was recommended that I seek coverage for my script so that I could fine tune it and hopefully have a chance later on.

Script coverage is a fancy name for someone who takes the script (normally someone who has experience in the movie business) and reads over it and makes suggestions on where to fix things. Is coverage cheap? Nope! I opted for the regular package and then added on some additional services which brought the total up to $250. Some coverage agencies will, if they like your script, get it in front of agents and producers—another plus to consider.

How could I have done this differently? Well, I'd still have to get the software, since it is industry standard. I'd write my screenplay, have my editor check for spelling/grammar/punctuation, and then send it off to a coverage service before I sent it off to any competitions. I'd have saved myself close to $200 and would have had a more marketable script to put in front of the judges. Yes, lesson learned. But, the good thing about coverage services: you can take what they said and apply it to subsequent screenplays, and hopefully in time, not require their services anymore.

Writing is an ever evolving, ever growing art form. If you're smart enough to learn from your mistakes, in time, you should know success. I am still learning...

Until next time, my creatively obsessed friends,

Kathy